Malton Hasler 24.05.26 Results, Photos and Report

Results

Provisional results from Malton can be seen by clicking here

Photos

Photos can be downloaded from these links:
The first turn
The finish (only a few)
Ken’s photos (These cover the pre-race activity, launching, and racing shots)
The presentations

Report by John Niland

๐•‹๐•™๐•– ๐”พ๐•ฃ๐•–๐•’๐•ฅ โ„•๐• ๐•ฃ๐•ฅ๐•™๐•–๐•ฃ๐•Ÿ ๐”ผ๐•ฉ๐•ก๐•–๐••๐•š๐•ฅ๐•š๐• ๐•Ÿ

๐†๐’๐‚๐‚ ๐ฏ๐ฌ. ๐“๐ก๐ž ๐Œ๐š๐ฅ๐ญ๐จ๐ง ๐‡๐š๐ฌ๐ฅ๐ž๐ซ ๐จ๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐‘๐ข๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ ๐ƒ๐ž๐ซ๐ฐ๐ž๐ง๐ญ
There are many fine traditions in paddlesport: early starts, questionable weather, and at least one paddler confidently misreading the race briefing. This yearโ€™s GSCC trip to Malton delivered all threeโ€”with interest. The plan was simple: head north, paddle hard, win things, and return home looking heroic.

What actually happened wasโ€ฆ wellโ€ฆ heroic, but in the way that legends are usually blurred slightly by heatstroke and sunburn. The trouble began, as these things often do, before anyone had even dipped a paddle in the River Derwent. The organisers had a BIG problem โ€“ two trees blocking the river meant they had to totally reroute the course and, somewhere along the way, they got the distances wrong BIG TIME. Somebody claimed at the Brigg Hasler that the lap distance seemed a touch short – Suspiciously short (but they werenโ€™t). Paul therefore tried to play safe, casually, adding an extra 1000m โ€œjust to be sure.โ€ It later emerged that each lap was already 4.5 miles so the extra 1000m meant each lap was over 5 miles (it should be 4) and there were multiple laps. On a twisting, windy, tree-choked Derwent that meandered like it had lost its satnav the course felt even longer. Definitely a character-builder and excellent value for money.

๐‡๐ž๐š๐ญ, ๐“๐ซ๐ž๐ž๐ฌ, ๐š๐ง๐ ๐“๐š๐œ๐ญ๐ข๐œ๐š๐ฅ ๐‡๐ฒ๐๐ซ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง
The weather, of course, was glorious. The kind of sunshine that looks delightful in photos but quietly melts paddlers from the inside. By the end of the day, everyone resembled a carefully curated collection of various shades of red. Fortunately, Connor and Oscar had come preparedโ€”not just physically, but aestheticallyโ€”with matching water bottles. Itโ€™s unclear whether this improved hydration or simply boosted morale through symmetry, but either way it worked: they powered home as first GSCC boat, 1st in Division 5, and 2nd overall after the thoroughly unplanned 10.48 miles. A casual stroll, really.

๐Š๐š๐ซ๐ฅ ๐ฏ ๐“๐ก๐ž ๐‘๐ข๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ (๐‘๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐๐ฌ ๐Ÿ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐Ÿ)
Next home was Karl, who delivered what can only be described as a fully immersive experience of the Derwent. His first swim was reportedly due to โ€œconfusion amongst the lower division paddlers,โ€ which is a polite way of saying he was gently shepherded toward a delightful set of hidden rocks. Always a crowd favourite. His second swim, however, was โ€œintentionalโ€. He claimed it was to โ€œcool off.โ€ Widely regarded as โ€œdedication to temperature management.โ€ Either way, Karl emerged refreshed, determined, and only slightly more aquatic than originally intended. ๐Ž๐ฎ๐ซ ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ ๐Ÿ–-๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ๐ž๐ซ Graham set off with quiet determination as our remaining 8 (plus 25%) milerโ€”a category that sounds less like a race distance and more like a tax bracket. He paddled on, alone with his thoughts, the sun, and approximately 7,000 bends in the river, each one identical to the last. A masterclass in enduranceโ€”and in trusting that eventually, inevitably, the finish line must exist.

๐“๐ก๐ž ๐Ÿ’-๐Œ๐ข๐ฅ๐ž ๐€๐ซ๐ฆ๐š๐๐š
Sue and Helen led the charge for the GSCC โ€œ4-milersโ€. They returned strongly, followed closely by Andrew and Phil, all looking like theyโ€™d had a delightful dayโ€”assuming oneโ€™s definition of delight includes perspiration and existential questioning.

๐“๐ก๐ž ๐ƒ๐ข๐ฏ๐ข๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐Ÿ— ๐ƒ๐ซ๐š๐ฆ๐š
What a show! Jess, in only her second 4-mile race, didnโ€™t so much compete as blast away from the field with the confidence of someone who hadnโ€™t yet learned that 4 miles on the Derwent actually feels like 12. Mike, meanwhile, approached the course with steady resolve, overcame both distance and heat, and cruised in for a well-earned second place, proving that calm, consistent paddling is sometimes the best strategyโ€ฆ especially when there are added mystery kilometres.

๐“๐ก๐ž โ€œ๐Œ๐จ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐„๐ง๐ญ๐ž๐ซ๐ญ๐š๐ข๐ง๐ข๐ง๐  ๐๐จ๐š๐ญโ€ ๐€๐ฐ๐š๐ซ๐
Finally, we arrive at Francis and John. Described by Paul (with admirable understatement) as โ€œthe most entertaining boat,โ€ their race featured a bold and innovative route strategy: * Forward * Sideways * Into trees * Around trees * Occasionally through trees. Their prolonged entanglement with overhanging branches transformed the Derwent into something resembling an interactive obstacle course. Spectators, in this case Paul and fellow paddlers, were treated to a performance rich in suspense, improvisation, and light foliage rearrangement. They were the last โ€œ4 mileโ€ boat homeโ€ฆ but crucially, not the last off the water (that was Grahamโ€™s dubious distinction). A moral victory, if ever there was one. Victory, Glory, and Sunburn

๐€๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ž๐ง๐ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ข๐ญ ๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ
Medals were shared, stories were exaggerated (slightly), and it appears GSCC may well have secured winning club statusโ€”a remarkable achievement given that part of the team (Francis and John) voluntarily made the race even longer (C2s definitely need a steering wheel). Everyone left: * Exhausted * Victorious * Mildly dehydrated * And impressively sunburnt

๐“๐ก๐ž ๐–๐š๐ญ๐œ๐ก๐Ÿ๐ฎ๐ฅ ๐„๐ฒ๐ž๐ฌ
Special mention must go to Martin and Ken, whose eagle-eyed photography ensured that every glorious, chaotic moment was captured for posterityโ€”and, more importantly, future embarrassment. Somewhere, we hope, (In a world where Martin and Ken are part of the SBS or Navy Seals), there exists a perfectly timed photograph of Karl mid-swim, or Francis and John negotiating a shrub. These images will be used responsibly. Probably!

๐…๐ข๐ง๐š๐ฅ ๐“๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก๐ญ๐ฌ
The Malton Hasler delivered everything: heat, distance, confusion, triumph, teamwork, and more than one entirely unnecessary kilometre. GSCC paddled hard, laughed harder, and proved once again that while racing is importantโ€ฆ โ€ฆmaking it more difficult than it needs to be is practically a club tradition. Roll on the next one.